The Art of Self-Study

"Can you remember who you were, before the world told you who you should be?"

~ Charles Bukowski

• Do you want to understand why, even after lots of introspection, you still get triggered by certain external events?

• Do you get stuck in patterns and habits that you’re trying to change and wonder why it’s so hard? 

• Do you wonder why it is so hard to make conscious choices to shift the patterns and habits that are aligned with what you want in your life now?

If any of these questions resonate with you, this second class will provide you with some insight.

The emotions and beliefs we formed in our early years can create patterns and habits that may be holding you back and keeping you stuck. To break free, it’s important to understand their origin.

HEALING THROUGH CHAKRA AWARENESS

If you get my newsletter, you already know my passion for healing through Chakra awareness. I became fascinated with the Vedic teachings of the Chakra System during my first yoga teacher training at the Chopra Center for Wellbeing. My passion for understanding the energy centers guided me to teachers where I could dive more deeply into Chakra Psychology. Anodea Judith's Chakra Yoga and the iRest Institute have provided lots of heady information, of which the intellectual part of me couldn’t get enough.  

However, it was during the shamanic healing program, The Wheel of Awakening, that I began to embody my own healing – to actually embody my body. In this program I learned how our child development corresponds to the development of the seven main energy centers governing different aspects of our body and mind. Not only did I learn about how our energetic body reflects our development, I experienced different processes for transforming the conditioning imposed upon me durning my early years.

This isn’t to place blame on my upbringing. From the outside, it seems really good! However, studying the chakras has given me the wisdom to know that what belonged to my parents and teachers may not necessarily be my truth. And as an adult with awareness, I can choose to discern and to decide what I want to keep and what I want to change; then to take action to make the changes.

You may have heard of the Chakras and know something about them. In this class you will get a brief overview or review, but the main focus is on the potential wounding we are here to become aware of – and to heal if that's what we choose. We will explore core beliefs that is common to adopt during our early childhood development and keep us stuck in patterns, habits, and reactive responses that feel impossible to shift.

THE ROOT CAUSE OF ELEMENTARY STRESS

In the previous class we talked about the Kundalini Yoga concept of Elementary Stress. Elementary Stress occurs when we are not living from and as our own inner truth. Conflict arises between our inner and outer selves. Childhood conditioning and wounding are the root cause of Elementary Stress. The way to healing this is through awareness.

“A huge percentage of clearing old patterns is simply to become aware of them.”

~ Yoga Bhajan, Kundalini Yoga

As adults we can learn to recognize ourself, trust our self, and welcome the radiance of our soul – to live and act from our True Identity. 

Happy New Year

Photo by Noemí Jiménez on Unsplash

Today I sit here between two Passion Planners — a tattered more ragged red one from 2022 crammed with my writing and what was scheduled to happen over the past 12 months while what didn’t happen is blacked out. 

Over the past couple of weeks I’ve reflected on 2022. I have skimmed through the monthly calendars and actual accomplishments I listed at the end of each week and month in the worn red planner. Overall, it feels like a fulfilling and satisfying year.

All the while, though, my pristine 2023 planner, mostly blank white pages has sat luringly by, beckoning me to open her … to begin to brainstorm programs and classes and bucket list dreams … to set client times  and dates for classes and vacations ...  a normally strong temptation for an entrepreneur.

But I don’t open her. I can’t. I leave her there waiting patiently in her state of perfection — a blank slate to author the next chapter of my life. In the quiet of this morning, I ask myself, what am I waiting for? 

• Is my perfectionism creeping in by wanting to avoid crossing out events? 

• Is it a younger part that shows up as a commitment phobe? (Yes, I’ve been there!)

• Do I still think I have to have it all figured out before I take a step? 

The answer to my contemplation arrives as a strong, “No, none of those.” I realize there is a part of me still reveling in the liminal space between the old year and the new. A part that needs to continue to cultivate the stillness where potentially and possibilities lie … in this – the unknown found in the space "betwixt and between." 

You may be ready to jump into 2023, either personally, professionally, or both. That’s great! You are in tune with society's vision of the New Year. Man created the Gregorian calendar around which the world functions. But … this calendar we operate by has nothing to do with cycles of the natural world. 

With Winter Solstice behind in the northern hemisphere, the days are beginning to slowly lengthen. However, nature is still in winter, and winter is just the beginning of the creative cycle.

I long to linger here in this quiet void where I can deepen into the sense of aliveness that is beginning to stir during this womb of winter. I am choosing to listen with curiosity to what wants to come through me during the upcoming year – rather than rush this process.  This year, I plan to allow it to unfold in the timing that is right for me. Then I will open my 2023 planner, allowing myself to be pulled in by the flow of natural rhythms. 

Ayurveda, the 5,000 year old system of health care and wellbeing, teaches us that by aligning our cycles with the energy flow of nature we actually flow with the fullest and truest expression of our self in all areas of life. The result is much less stress and anxiety. (You can read more about Ayurveda here: https://dianshirley.com/blog-1/2017/3/22/fall-in-love-with-ayurveda)

So if you’re not ready to plunge ahead in this moment, there’s nothing wrong with you. Maybe you are hearing  a deeper call to attune to the natural cycles. Sooner or later, I venture to say, that happens to all of us; then we can choose how we want to respond.

If this is you, though, consider that this is your permission slip to stay here … to pause, to breathe deeply, and slow down as you let go of any push energy – any outside influences. Tune into what your heart is longing for. Honor yourself exactly where you are now … feel yourself held … and enjoy  ...
 

“The secret of living life from vitality is in the rest and recovery.” 
~ Lindsay Davis, Lindsay Davis Coaching

With love,
Dian

What Is It Time for Now?

"What is it about time that gives it such power … an unseen force that can shape the land as well as our lives? Learn to play with time ... and let it take its proper place in your life.”

Excerpt from “The Time Card” in The Power Deck (1991) by Lynn Andrews

This year is flying by! We're approaching the Autumn Equinox already. I don’t think it’s just me … time really is going faster for everyone, it seems.

When I feel the overwhelm of not enough time, I fall back into the ancient wisdom that time is merely a man-made construct. There really is no time ... it's a part of ourselves that we explore in iRest yoga nidra in order to just be in our spacious and timeless wholeness. Then it’s easier to accept that everything really is right on time.


This digression on "time" isn't really the point of this newsletter, but it is something that I've been playing with over the summer. What is it time for now? 

To that point ... I haven't written a newsletter or offered a class for several months. So what have I been doing with my “time” over the past few months … Well, currently I am celebrating the process of completing one of five modules of Level 2 Kundalini Yoga Teacher Training!

Being focused on the subject of "Vitality and Stress," the topic of this Kundalini module, for the last three months has inspired new ideas that are starting to take form. It’s also been a huge transformational experience for me into a deeper connection with the truth of my identity — "Sat Nam."

Sat Nam is translated as, "I am truth; truth is my identity."

Beginning in the late 1960’s or early 1970's, Kundalini Yoga teachings were introduced to the Western World. For those who have had the eyes to see and the ears to hear, it opens the door to a bigger picture that may be going on during the transition from the Piscean Age to the Aquarian Age. I'm pretty sure that if you're reading this, you are already aware of this energetic shift.


Kundalini yoga, meditation, pranayama (breathing) and mantras provide a  technology – a set of practices – to help us cope with our own struggles during this predicted period of the unknown, the chaos, the disinformation, and polarization.

Not only the Vedic teachings, but many indigenous cultures have foretold that the world as we have known it would "crumble" during the transition into the Aquarian Age. (See my newsletter from the beginning of the pandemic called “The Wobbly Pony Phase:” https://dianshirley.com/blog-1/the-wobbly-pony-phase-1.)

“The old systems and structures of our world are not working anymore, and in fact, are crumbling before our eyes. Yet the new models have not been created.” 
~ VerDarLuz

It does give me hope to know that there might be more to this troubled world than the anxiety, the doom, the gloom, and the anger that is expressing itself in so many people who are uncomfortable with the unknown created by these changes. I’ve appreciated all the tools I have from the ancient wisdom traditions that support me to stay present and centered and to react more often from conscious awareness around the challenges and absurdities we are encountering these days.

My emails in the coming weeks will share several new opportunities for you to embody some of the tools of the ancient wisdom traditions for coping and for healing. iRest Yoga Nidra, Kundalini Yoga, Ayurveda and Native American spirituality are full of wisdom teachings that can help us to better know ourselves, accept what is, and raise our own consciousness –  all of which influence those around us.

I’d love to hear if any of this resonates with you and how you are navigating the state of our world today! What is it time for in your life right now?
Just reply to this email with your thoughts.

With Love,
Dian


In the meantime, a complimentary offering of iRest Yoga Nidra continues on  most Mondays at 5:00 Mountain time. Let me know if you would like to join us for this group meditation.

The Sound of Silence

“Silence Is golden” and “the sound of silence” — lines from songs during my high school and college years that always touched something deeply within me. This was long before I knew about the incredible inner healing power of "silence." However, those phrases  have stayed with me.

So, when I was introduced to the concept of silent retreats, my body, mind, and spirit vibrated with a resounding YES! I couldn’t think of anything more delicious! Count me in!

Deep Internal Quietude

This first foray into silence occurred at a rural Oklahoma farm. Even though it was a group retreat, I easily settled into the stillness. My nervous system, often on high alert, enjoyed a much needed vacation that weekend. I took a more expanded sense of self back to the roles I played in my daily life. (For more about our roles, see my blog: What Roles Have You Played?)

After this initial deep connection to my inner self, I committed to monthly silence as a part of my life. These occasional days were like taking a long deep breath; a pause in the mind's busyness -- the thoughts, fears, beliefs, judgments.


During the pauses, I began to grow better acquainted with the “me” buried under the layers of social conditioning. The Vedic teachings call the coverings of our true self koshas. I discovered what it meant to be more than a physical body and an overworked mind. I started to tune into the guidance my soul longed for me to hear. 

My one day retreats grew into five days of silence under the guidance of Chopra Center teachers at Silent Awakenings. Five days of silence, A.M. and P.M. yoga, four daily meditations nourished by Ayurvedic meals in silence definitely opened the door to a place I had never been before – a state of deep internal quietude.

Inspiration for Retreat

When I first arrived in the rural mountain town of Crestone, the silence that suffused the days and nights under the watchful gaze of the Sangre de Cristo Mountains filled me with that same inner peace. No squealing car tires or honking horns; no train whistles disturbing the early morning quiet. Only the pure essence of the birds singing, the music of the roaring creeks, and occasional coyotes howling -- primordial sounds that fosters am inward call.

Out here under the watchful presence of the 14,000 foot Crestone Peaks, rest and rejuvenation naturally occurs. The San Luis Valley spreads expansively to the West while the mountains tower to the East. No street lights to penetrate the dark skies. So heavenly! And so many stars!

What Could You Do with a Few Days of Solitude?

I’ve been inspired by my love for silence to offer such a refuge to others – to create a space for others to connect with the truth of who they are, supported by the silence of the natural world here. I am offering silent retreat packages for those who are drawn to go inward so that they can make the space to listen to the longing of their soul.

Each retreat package is individually customized just for you. It could involve:

A Primordial Sound Meditation mantra or specifically designed iRest Yoga Nidra Meditations so that you deepen the experience while you're in retreat and take some of the silence back home with you

If Yoga is your thing, the Seven Spiritual Laws of Yoga is an option to embody the spiritual wisdom of the ages

Hatha Yoga for a specific mind, body or spirit issue, or Kundalini Yoga, Meditation and Pranayam so that you can experience healing from the inside out

A deep dive into Ayurveda so that your self-awareness and inner healing grows through this holistic, preventative, and individualized healthcare system

An exploration into missing childhood development so that you build awareness of the wounding that created beliefs that are still driving your adult life today

Then maybe you just prefer a safe haven so that you can comfortably remove yourself from your busy world for a few days. In that case, you can relax on your own in the sacred space of The Raven’s Nest! 

If this sounds appealing to you, I’d love to offer you a complimentary Clarity Conversation. Together we will explore the number one thing that will create a shift for you at this time and then map out how a supported silent retreat could support you in creating that. With this call there is no obligation to sign up for a retreat; just reply to this email, and I will reach out for a way to connect.

Or what would you do with a few days of solitude? Or even a few hours? I'd love to know!

Namaste ~

Dian

P. S. Should you decide to retreat in Crestone, you will be in good company. Pema Chodron describes why she often retreats in silence in Crestone during the first few minutes of this video: Pema Chodren on Solitude.

The Pandemic – A laboratory for healing

Cottonwood Creek, Crestone, Colorado

“The internal map of the chakras is a part of our core identity guiding us on this evolutionary journey.”

~ Anodea Judith from The Global Heart Awakens
 

The Pandemic — A Laboratory for Healing
 

It was my intention last year to write a series of  newsletters about our energetic body. And, I actually started a bunch. Each felt like I was vomiting up every little thought that came to mind with no coherent focus. I did get as far as the Root Chakra in 2020, the First Chakra; that was it. (More about the Root Chakra here.)

The chakra system and its possibilities for self-understanding and healing have fascinated me since I first learned about these ancient wisdom teachings found in the Yoga Kundalini Upanishad. I've explored these teachings further as a student and an apprentice in terms of early childhood development during Patricia White Buffalo's intense Wheel of Awakening program in Santa Fe. 

There are seven major chakras, or energy centers, located along the spine. They connect our physicality to our conscious awareness through a network of intersecting nerves at each of the energy centers. When blocked or distorted in some way, the energy that flows through the nerve plexus at each chakra can affect our health and emotions. By strengthening and balancing the energy of the chakras, our health and emotional states can improve.
 

So, it doesn’t surprise me that my writing could not form  coherently during 2020. In hindsight, I can see that my scattered-ness was a reflection of the instability in the world around me as well as my own concerns for myself, my family, and the world. This quote expresses it all:

“The old systems and structures of our world are not working anymore, and in fact are crumbling before our eyes. Yet the new models have not been created.” 
~VerDarLuz

It’s no wonder so many responded to the unknown with fear, anxiety, and depression. All are physical symptoms of an imbalanced Root Chakra, whether collectively or individually – a very unstable foundation.

The Second Chakra – Developing a Sense of Self

So the Second Chakra, also called the Sacral Chakra, is located below the navel and above the Root Chakra. It is known as the energetic center of creativity, sexuality and sensuality. It is also the seat of our emotions and is associated with the element of water.

The Second Chakra begins to develop during the first two years of life. During Second Chakra development, it's all about me. The caretaker is there to help us get our needs met, to reflect our essence, to give us space to play on our own, and ideally is a safe person to return to when our needs dictate that. When we have awareness of our needs and are comfortable with a wide range of emotions, we develop a strong sense of self -- a healthy Second Chakra.

If the young child does not get enough of their essence reflected or lacks secure attachment to the primary caretaker, then she may grow up having difficulty in receiving from others and in feeling enough. 

The Third Chakra: Individuation and Autonomy

Then for the next two years, the Third Chakra, the Solar Plexus, the seat of our inner power begins to develop. This center is located above the navel and below the heart. Fire is the element associated with this energy center. The strength of the Third Chakra depends on the health of the first two chakras. If we have had healthy development of the Second Chakra in creating a strong sense of self and a grounded foundation in the First Chakra, then we can feel empowered to explore individuation from another, to develop the resources to get our needs met, and to set boundaries that are neither too rigid nor too permeable.

Unhealthy development occurs when our individuation was forced too early or our caretakers were overly impinging about our space and our needs, not giving us appropriate autonomy for our development.

The Pandemic As My Laboratory for Incomplete Lower Chakra Development

For me the pandemic became a laboratory to explore the incomplete development of my lower chakras. I had to first feel into my strong emotions over conflicting opinions around wearing masks and the vaccine. Then I had to educate myself, tune into my inner truth, and understand my needs in building a strong sense of self (second chakra development) to set the boundaries of what I would allow in my home, in interaction with others, and in the activities I chose to engage in (third chakra development). My health became a strong motivator to stay grounded in my truth and in setting my boundaries.

It wasn’t easy to do. Prior to the healing work I’ve done in the past six years involving the lower chakras, my sense of self could be quite fluid, my emotions elusive and even scary, and my boundaries tattered. The act of living my truth and stating my boundaries from a strong sense of self around my energetic resources of health, time, money, and physical energy during Covid has truly strengthened that muscle.
 

I’ve also come to know that as much as I enjoy the practices of meditation and chanting that activate the blissful sensations of higher chakras, if my lower chakras are still reflecting childhood wounding, I lack confidence and clarity, feel confused and unfocused, and ungrounded in my truth. The pandemic created the space and time for me, as well as for several of my clients, to strengthen our foundation.

Stay tuned for what the missing lower chakra development could look like in your life … and practices you can use that help to heal the missing development, building a stronger foundation in support of your higher chakras.
 

Projects, Free Class, and Workshops

With my newfound boundaries, I have used the past year to develop several exciting projects. And I’m bursting with energy from a stronger sense of self to share them!!!

It all starts with an upcoming free Zoom class “The Missing Piece to Living Life on Purpose.” Check it out here. Don’t wait long — it’s happening Thursday, May 20. Click here to learn more! Hint: The "missing piece" has to do with the lower chakras.

A workshop has been seeding itself in my awareness as a result of this passion for Chakra Healing and iRest Yoga Nidra. The title seems to want to be something like Embody Your Essence: a deeper dive into awakening to and clearing the subconscious influences stored in your body and driving your adult life!

More on this to come...

If you feel like sharing what has blossomed for you in the past 12 months, please hit reply! I would love to know! 

Namaste ~
Dian

The Wobbly Pony Phase

“I wish it need not have happened in my time,” said Frodo.

“So do I,” said Gandalf, “and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.” 

~ J.R.R.Tolkien The Fellowship of the Ring

See the YouTube video of this scene here:

https://www.facebook.com/jeremyBROEKMAN/videos/10163650188760529

Years ago I loved using (and still do today) a divination card deck called The Sacred Path Cards by Jamie Sams. There’s a card in that deck that feels important today. It’s #18, the Whirling Rainbow card. The Whirling Rainbow is the promise of peace among all Nations and people. The Rainbow Race stresses equality and opposes the idea of a superior race that would control or conquer other races. When all pathways to wholeness are respected by all cultures, this prophecy from our Mayan ancestors will be complete.

As this new time unfolds … “Many will remember their purpose for being on this Earth Walk and will learn to develop their gifts to assist the whole of humanity. Truth will shatter the bonds of separation. Everyone will trust their personal vision … to assist the whole.” That vision always brings tears to my eyes.

The prophecy also warns us that this transition from the age of power and greed to the age of heart-centered consciousness is not going to be easy or quick.The dawning of the Fifth World of Peace will be like a wobbly pony that on being born would try to use its legs.”

I always felt hope when I drew this card. I had spent my teaching career working with kids from many diverse cultures, income levels, special needs — and seeing the gifts each one had, it was impossible for me to grasp that anyone could reject people based on being different from who they were. 

The idea that one day we would realize that we are all one tribe and what we do to another we do to ourselves resonated at a soul level for me. The prophecy excites me! It makes me feel deeply connected to something bigger than meets the eye.

I just didn’t know it was going to be this hard. 

I didn’t know the changes would be initiated with a virus that would divide people into maskers and non-maskers, hate and compassion, or greed and selfless service. Ayurveda teachings from 5,000 years ago tell us that this is exactly what happens in epidemics, though.

I didn’t know the pain of being witness to the institutions that create stability — economy, education, healthcare, democracy, the environment – crumbling right before our very eyes. These institutions have made up the global root chakra. The root chakra is about foundation, both personally and collectively. No wonder there is the prevailing sense of anxiety, fear and instability both in and around us. Read my early 2020 post about the Root Chakra here: https://www.facebook.com/permalink.php?story_fbid=2582973698627328&id=1518974468360595

I didn’t know the unknown would swirl around us day in and day out, generating much anxiety about losing control, anger towards those who think differently, and fear of the future.That division is playing out today in a tight presidential race because of a country so divided.

So what’s the point of this? Yes, I needed to vent rather than watch the election results start to color a map of the United States.

So per Gandalf’s comment, and what keeps me sane is the truth that this is what we signed up for when we chose to incarnate at this time. This is the time to do the work we came here to do — the work that creates change, expansion and empowerment for all.

That work will look different to each of us. For some it may be all internal; for others it may be about providing security and safety for their family; some may choose to help others see the beauty of who they really are; and for many it is just being centered and present and grounded in the day to day unfolding of what is to come.

We do have a choice; we can weave strands of caring, compassion, and joy. Or we can weave strands of anger, fear, judgment, and greed. 

Daily routines help us center, stay grounded, present and connected with our own inner wisdom though the chaos of the world swirls around us. When we’re able to come back to center, then those close to us sense it. It’s like being in the center of a spider web and each strand of the web flows out to the people and situations to which we’re connected.

So I’d love to know:

What kind of strands do you choose to weave in this time that is given to you?

What practices and rituals speak to you, help you ride the waves of uncertainty? 

How do you want to show up in the world?

iRest Yoga Nidra is a trauma informed style of yoga nidra. It gives us tools to shift our way of meeting what is happening that is frightening, unknown, and unstable. Consider joining us on Mondays at 5:00 Mountain time. If this speaks to you, please send me an email, and I will get you the Zoom link. It’s free for this wobbly pony phase. Email: dian@dianshirley.com

Also, if you would like to have a conversation about any challenges for you right now, or if you would like support in creating a routine to stay grounded and present, I’d love for you to connect with me.